


Home has a heartbeat

by deftone



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I'm Sorry, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 12:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20389708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deftone/pseuds/deftone
Summary: "The beauties of Hanamura were blossoming around in Hanzo's sight when you two walked together and it made him feel dazed about why it looked so serene and inviting for the first time. He swallowed hard every time he was secretly catching a glimpse of the sparkle from your eyes when you were admiring the sites."





	Home has a heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> As always, big thanks and love to @hightress for the idea and the support (please check out her work, you won't regret). Sorry if this feels a bit plain, I tried. Sorry for any possible grammar mistakes. That's all, enjoy and thank you for reading!

Meditation is often used to calm your mind, heart, body, and what spirits are guarding and following you. Hanzo Shimada tried to achieve that state of mind so many times, wanting to let his guard down for a brief moment of silence. The failure to reach the part of letting himself go only pushed him deeper into hatred, anger, confusion towards who he was.

  
Meditation was supposed to be a period of healing, but he doubted his privilege to it.  
It should feel like a short rain in the forest, a refreshing gentle wind, another wave of the sea, not a storm of regrets and inner turmoil.

  
Lying to himself that he has not yet found the right spot for mediating and that is why he could not reach the benefits of it, Hanzo started traveling and searching for that special place.

  
Busan, Nepal, Egypt, Rialto even Junkertown in desperate times, all being valid options. The guilt, strong enough like a choke-hold could be felt anywhere he went.

  
Inhaling now deeply, the archer was sure that he finally found the adequate place to find balance at least for some minutes. In your embrace, in the closeness of your presence, focusing on breathing and calmness seemed to be so effortless there.

  
Reaching this place and this moment in which he would finally let himself in your arms took time, stubbornness and your subtle but significant help.

  
“These arms that are holding me do not feel obscure to me anymore.” Hanzo said close to a whisper with his eyes closed, almost drifting into an even more relaxing feeling.

  
Inside the room you were sharing, looking out the window, you and Hanzo were resting after unknown whereabouts. Seated on the floor, your back resting against a wall while Hanzo was leaning against you, his back on your chest, head tilted back on your shoulder while your arms were around him.

  
It seemed that calmness could be achieved also in this manner that was unfamiliar for him at first, not just by meditation.

  
A single concern was able to interfere and make him shiver, becoming alert at that moment. An idea, a question, an uncertainty that woke up agitation which made the spirits of his dragons stir.

  
Observing how his body tensed all of a sudden, you frowned in worry. Before you could ask anything, Hanzo got away from your touch.

  
“Outdoors meditation is needed.” It was his only explanation before he left your embrace in a swift motion.

  
You watched him leave the room, probably with a storm in his mind. Hanzo was aware of leaving so abruptly, doing some things abruptly when it came to some gestures. His dragons, aching from under his skin, wanting to grab your hand, shoulder, when he wanted to reach for you, a certain movement that stops right away in hesitation.

  
Should he stop this time as well? This whole idea that is interrupting his daily thoughts recently and persistently has to disappear and the only way for that is to forget it or let it happen. A decision such as this one needed to be thought through many times. Was he going to accept that he wanted you _there_? _Needing you there_. More importantly, were you going to accept such a request?

  
Traveling together, working together, learning from each other was always a conundrum for him. Why were you sticking around? Your presence felt like a breeze that could cool him off when concentration was too intense, but in the same time a breeze that could change the direction of an arrow.

  
Many things were locked in his soul intentionally but you were more than willing to steadily search for the key that could free his emotions.

  
When the archer came back inside, his state made you worry. It seemed that meditating failed once again to bring him answers, not helping at all and doing even more damage.

  
“What happened?” You could not hold your worry in any longer and when he stepped closer, your right hand found his face in a gentle caress.

  
It made you shiver when you saw him leaning into your touch more, but frowning with his eyes closed. Hanzo caught your hand with his and held it tightly, inhaling deeply before opening your eyes.

  
“Something needs to be said.” He stared in a serious but familiar tone to you.

  
Emotions touched his eyes that could never lie to you, making his blinking rate increase slightly. You waited, patiently, naturaly just as always.

  
Focusing on his details made your heart beat faster all the time. Grey hairs growing from his temples like waves, face so tense but eyes so tender. The sight of his uncovered shoulder made you ask yourself if it hurts him at night because of the effort he was putting in archery. A tattoo, more precisely, the house of two powerful spirits that were guarding him.

  
“I think it is time for you to know something that has a great importance to me and who I am. The reason why my path reaches Hanamura once a year.” His thoughts flowed through memories after letting that phrase pass through his lips.

  
You listened closely when Hanzo explained what this whole process meant to him, the danger he was putting himself in just to commemorate his lost brother, the things he had to do to gain the entrance to that sacred place that was the Shimada clan's pagoda. There were many things that were left unsaid about his brother that you were hearing now.

  
“This year, as that day approaches, I took the decision to try and make it different.” He announced, looking straight into your eyes while he grabbed your hands.

  
From the tightness of his grip, you could already understand how heavy his soul was at that moment.

  
You nodded and waited for the continuation, although strongly longing for his words. Before you could think of what could be done in a different manner this year, the simple solution was offered by him.

  
“I want you to be there with me. Of course, your safety will be my priority until we will reach the sacred place.” His wish, for you to be there with him has occupied his mind and now,finally freeing it felt relieving. “Will you accept this invitation?” He asked while holding your hands for a little longer.

  
You blinked twice, trying not to show your shock even if it was an anticipated emotion for Hanzo. Now he was the one to feel curious about your words but the waiting part being easier from all these years in which he taught himself to be patient.

  
“My answer is clear, I will gladly accept it, and thank you for this.” You answered before dropping the formality to add something you always wanted to tell him. “I never knew where you were going but always sensed how dispirited you were after coming back.” Hanzo frowned while listening to you and unconsciously leaning closer. “All of those times made me wish to not let you go alone anymore.”

  
Hanzo watched how you let it all out, every word being a drop of warmth that was falling over his heart and then spreading its heat inside his whole chest. He should have fought it, that feeling was not something he deserved.

  
The frown from his face disappeared slowly when he realized how perceptive you were to how he was feeling, how mindful of his state you were. His shoulders relaxed, his dragons expressing contentment, his lips parted because of the sudden understanding.

  
The beauties of Hanamura were blossoming around in Hanzo's sight when you two walked together and it made him feel dazed about why it looked so serene and inviting for the first time. He swallowed hard every time he was secretly catching a glimpse of the sparkle from your eyes when you were admiring the sites.

  
When you finally approached and stepped into the pagoda, you looked around first, then at Hanzo for a second. Not wanting to insist and thinking how it would be the best for him to be the first to step forward and alone, you waited for him to proceed. When you stopped in your tracks, he stopped as well with a questioning look on his face. Your eyes averted, shoulders dropping and a hand gesturing with a slow movement for him to go first. Hanzo only stood there, watching you before grabbing your hand and started walking with you.

  
You could tell that you were close to the source of his mourning by the way the tightness of his grip increased and his breathing got heavier. Copying his moves carefully, you knelt next to Hanzo, in front of an ancient katana.

Silence is the main condition for a successful meditation. The only sound that dared to be heard was brought by a soft breeze from the outside and by cherry blossom petals falling on the wooden floor of the pagoda's entrance.

You being next to him was another condition he could not reach in the past and never knew he needed.  
Watching him arrange some symbolic objects meticulously, you tried to understand what each meant to what happened between him and Genji. Whenever his dexterity was betrayed by a slight tremble in his hand, you were there to support the hand that was holding a sparrow feather, laying your fingers on top of his. Two hands, holding the most emblematic element, a sparrow feather, in deep devotion. None of you had to speak to understand what was happening, what peace flowed through both of you.

  
Next to him, holding his hand, eyes closed, you were both meditating, remembering, making everything stronger and sacred.

  
It is said that when your soul is at home, pain is numbed. For someone who only knew pain and traveled alone so much, home seemed a distant paradise. Almost impossible to reach, possible enough only in dreams.

  
After so many years of regret and sorrow, home was found and had a heartbeat. Not in Hanamura, not in that pagoda, but in your true affection which he finally learned to accept and let to do its healing. 


End file.
